Couples Psychotherapy Counseling
Like other forms of talk therapy, couples psychotherapy (or couples therapy) aims to relieve people’s distress and improve their functioning. But unlike other forms of therapy, there are multiple parties in the room in addition to the psychotherapist. The couples psychotherapist works diligently to impartially balance the needs and interests of each of the individuals and the relationship(s) itself. Therapy usually aims to bring partners closer together or support individuals in ending their partnership compassionately.
What Does It Look Like?
Therapy consists of partners in a committed relationship being treated at the same time by the same therapist. Most couples therapy is conducted conjointly—that is, with both partners present in sessions. Seeing or contacting one member of the couple separately is occasionally warranted but almost invariably done to gain information important to the relationship and with the permission of the other.
In sessions, the therapist is likely to ask many questions, including some about each partners’ family of origin and some that explore an individual’s beliefs or perspective. Relational science has firmly established that both partners play a role in most couple problems. The couples therapist does not take sides in disputes, but they may call out individual behaviors that contribute to joint problems.
In the process of resolving dilemmas, partners learn to have compassion for their partner and themselves, learn ways of constructively managing their own negative feelings, and rekindle the feelings that originally attracted them to each other.
Between sessions, couples may be asked to practice at home the insights, behaviors, and problem-solving skills they gain in therapy.
Should you seek therapy, counseling or consulting for your relationship?
These types of care overlap significantly—they all aim to help individuals resolve relationship difficulties and handle conflict—and the terms are commonly used interchangeably, even by clinicians. But there are important differences between them.
Consulting is often a one-time or short-term interaction to clarify relationship concerns, provide insight, and guide the partners towards appropriate next steps.
Counseling usually focuses on a single current problem that partners face and is often completed in six sessions or less.
Therapy involves a deeper process that explores the roots of partners’ current problems with the intent of resolving dysfunctional patterns of interaction. Often it aims to understand and undo the emotional impact their behavior has had over the course of their relationship. Typically, it helps individual partners understand themselves and their own needs so they know how to ask the other for what they want and know how to support their partner well.
The average duration of couples therapy is 12 sessions, but relationship dynamics are complex, and much depends on the goals of the couple. Repairing a relationship after infidelity or betrayal for example can take a lot of hard work by both partners as well as the therapist and require some time.
Our therapists hold advanced degrees in psychology and are trained to address current relational problems by identifying and resolving longstanding dysfunctional patterns. Attention is given to the problems within and between individuals that affect the relationship. We are happy to answer any questions about our couples’ work and address concerns you may have.